Your boyfriend is incredibly charming and all-around likable, which is probably drew you to him in the first place. Sadly, it could also be what ends your relationship. Here’s why the attention seeker doesn’t make good boyfriend material:
1. He’s loud AF.
Attention-seekers tend to be loud and proud everywhere they go because they want everyone to hear and see them. It can be uncomfortable to be around him when he’s always keen for people to notice him, especially if you’re more of an introvert. At the very least, it’s embarrassing.
2. He flirts with other women.
If he was that charming and flirtatious with you, chances are he’ll be flirting with other women. This can be highly annoying, especially when he comes down with a serious case of wandering eye when you’re supposed to be having a romantic dinner at your favorite restaurant. Um, hello? I’m over here?
3. He might cheat.
Wanting attention from women could lead some attention seekers to stray. It makes sense because they’re all about their egos and have a deep need for attention that’s never satisfied, causing them to do more risky things to get it. Not worth it.
4. He’s way too worried about his appearance.
He might not spend hours in front of the bathroom mirror before going out, but he shows signs of putting lots of energy into his appearance. He’ll always want to look good so that he can get the most attention from people, and he loves posting selfies at the gym, in the car, and even in the bathroom. Yup, he’s quite superficial.
5. He loves arguments.
Attention seekers tend to want to fight often because they love controversy and anything that can get them the most attention — even negative attention is fine by them. This also links to their need to be the loudest, always be right and “win.” It’s exhausting. Dating him means you’re constantly in a verbal boxing ring, not a healthy relationship.
6. He loves the sound of his own voice.
He loves to talk and at first, it was entertaining. Now, you just want him to shut the hell up. Ugh. The worst thing is that attention seekers will try to speak above you and interrupt what you’re saying to make their own point. Good luck with trying to sneak a word in here or there.
7. He’s a social media freak.
If a guy loves attention, he’ll go nuts on social media because it allows him to achieve instant gratification for his thoughts and selfies. Don’t be surprised if he’s always online on Facebook, making you wonder who the hell he’s talking to. His friend list might also be filled with profiles of half-naked women that he hopes make him look like a woman magnet. Ugh.
8. He’s always on the phone.
To get attention from people, attention seekers need to get out there as much as possible. If they can’t get out there, like on a quiet Friday night in, they’ll connect with others in different ways with their phones. In other words, his phone is an extra limb that he doesn’t go anywhere without — even the bathroom. He’ll probably ignore you to take those “urgent” texts or calls. So rude.
9. He’s insecure.
You might think that a lover of attention will be confident, but often that need to be liked it is a sign of serious insecurity. Which means that as his girlfriend you’ll have to be the one to deal with all his fears and low self-esteem moments that the rest of the world doesn’t see.
10. He’s needy.
Since he’s so insecure, the attention seeker tends to be co-dependent. He needs you for various things all the time — and he’ll throw a fit if you’re not there when he wants you. So damn selfish. Sometimes it will feel like you’ve got a child on your hands.
11. He creates drama.
He might claim to hate it, but he secretly thrives on drama. It’s the easiest way for him to pull attention his way. It means that you’ll be caught up in lots of dramatic situations when you’re out with this guy, from bar fights to rants at waiters, to arguments with his best friends. Ugh.
12. He’s a social addict.
If you’re hoping to have lots of quiet nights alone with your attention-seeking boyfriend, guess again. He easily becomes restless and needs to be at the hottest parties or events where he can be seen. He thrives on being around people so he can show them up. The mellow, quiet life is not for him.
13. He’s a people pleaser.
When you first met the attention seeker, he went to great lengths to impress you. He was entertaining, had great story-telling ability, showered you with attention… In reality, it was all about being liked. People who crave attention will try to get it by being the nicest, most charming, and friendliest person. Unfortunately, it’s often all for show and something they can’t maintain as time goes on.
14. He tries too hard to be cool.
He kissed a perfect stranger, he went white-water rafting and nearly died, he’s visited so many countries and got pulled up on stage at his favorite band’s concert. If it sounds like his life is a little too perfect and exciting all the time, he could be fabricating the truth. It’s an easy way to get attention and be seen as someone who’s got it all. Get used to loads of bragging from this guy that will put you off him faster than he can say, “I’m so cool.” What a loser.
Giulia is a freelance writer living in Johannesburg, South Africa. She writes for local and international websites, with a special interest in writing about dating. In her spare time, she can be found blissed out in a bookstore or writing fiction of her own. She loves Oscar Wilde, organic beauty products and Italian food.