You know when someone tells you a story that’s so obviously fabricated that it’s almost insulting that they even presented it to you as truth in the first place?
Well, prepare yourself for the online musings of a straight, male “writer” who felt inclined to spew a bullshit story about his flirtatious prowess to all of his Facebook friends.
Twitter user @scarlehwitch recently shared some screenshots from a (now anonymous) Facebook post that was almost too cringe-y for its own good.
The Facebook post described an alleged personal meet-cute which supposedly took place at a coffee shop — although there is truly nothing “cute” about this poorly-written and (for lack of better word) douche-y story.
Bleck. Clearly, this was some sort of grotesque Sherlock fanfic that somehow found its way onto this guy’s Facebook feed, because that is the only plausible explanation for this level of cringe-inducing tripe.
Twitter was utterly revolted after reading the piece of writing, and everyone was pretty much gagging unapologetically.
Everyone was like, “Um, there is no way this story is real, dude.”
People were also cringing over the author perpetually calling himself a “writer.”
Everyone wondered: what kind of dude could write such a blatant sexual fantasy and then attempt to pass it off as reality?
But, don’t get too smug about never having to read this man’s work ever again — for there is even more where that came from, friends. The author actually created a followup story to his initial bout of lies, and it is even more revolting than the first.
Nice job with that nonexistent Trish chick, dude! *High-fives*
Though I’m sure we all need to take a shower after reading this particular author’s work, this whole parable should serve as an important reminder of how so many men choose to write about female characters (fictional or otherwise):
Whoever that anonymous author is, I hope he’s happy, masturbating quietly at his computer.