Well, summer is here! I’m sure you have plans, be it a vacation, or lounging around, or continuing to work on getting into the college of your dreams, but no matter your plan is for summer, it will not live up to expectations. You’re probably thinking, “Why you gotta curse me like that, BUD?!” Hey man, don’t get mad at me because of how things are. I’m a nice guy, I DON’T DESERVE THIS! Anyway, I have a list of movies about summer that will make whatever you do seem great in comparison to what the characters in these things go through…
I Know What You Did Last Summer
Some graduating teens commit vehicular homicide, then dispose of the body so they don’t get busted. A year later, they’re getting letters telling them that SOMEONE knows what they did last summer (they assume the letters are referring to the manslaughter, but really it could be referring to anything they did that summer). Then the letter sender starts stalking and trying to kill them. Probably worse than your less-than-fun trip to the beach.
Little Miss Sunshine
Odds are good your summer will feature at least a little bit of what Little Miss Sunshine‘s all about — family tensions boiling over. You know what your summer probably won’t feature? A precocious Grandpa. Yeah yeah, Alan Arkin is a treasure of American screen and theater, but man… precocious old people and kids just really get to me.
The Talented Mr. Ripley
Were you murdered during your summer vacation? Did some weird creep then take over your life? No? Then shut up.
The Hitchcock classic Rear Window is probably best known for its parody in The Simpsons, where Bart breaks his leg, gets obsessed with his telescope while trapped in his bedroom, and convinces himself that Flanders killed his wife. Well, if becoming paranoid and potentially delusional sounds better than whatever you’re going to do this summer, be my guest!
What About Bob?
I just can’t imagine a summer vacation that is worse than having your psychiatric patient, who possesses all of the worst possible middle-of-the-road mental problems, as he slowly worms his way into your family’s good graces while you — only you — recognize him for the incredibly annoying narcissist that he is.
(NOTE: Even if you aren’t having a bad summer, you should watch this movie, because it is the best.)
”Don’t Go In The Water”?! But that’s the whole reason I came to this god awful, miserable beach town! For real though, I’m not into getting eaten by sharks. I don’t like deaths that are incredibly uncommon, because then it feels like I wasted my moment to be special on a grisly death.
500 Days Of Summer
500 Days Of Summer is one of the all-time most annoying movies ever made, and Summer (the character) is for sure the most annoying part. Think about how your summer could be worse this way — it could be a literal person who is just unbelievably unpleasant to spend time with (to be fair, Joseph Gordon Levitt ain’t no freakin’ picnic neither.)
Want to insist your summer was actually that bad? You can try, but I don’t like your odds. Tell us on Twitter @Smosh!