The 8 Different Kinds of People on Twitter

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Just like classic teen movies have the jocks, the nerds, and the cheerleaders, Twitter has its groups, too — the social justice tweeters, the joke stealers, the selfie queens. If you’ve spent more than ten minutes on Twitter, you’ve seen all these types of people. Here are eight of the different kinds of people on Twitter.

1) The thread maker

This person is constantly making threads, be they about their favorite actors, favorite restaurants, favorite meals at Applebee’s, or anything else. If you comment on their thread and mess it up, they’re gonna be pissed. Watch out, these people are intense.

2) The person who just links to their Instagram

What is wrong with this person? An Instagram link is literally the most boring thing to see on Twitter. Just put shit on Twitter and put other stuff on Instagram, or post pics in both places. I don’t understand this.

3) The constant tweeter

This person wants to tell you every detail of their day. They’re the ones who tweet “good morning!” in the morning and “good night, tweeps!” at night and descriptions of every little thing they ate in between.

4) The person who likes all of your tweets

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There’s always one person who likes all of your tweets. You can’t help but wonder — do they love your tweets, or do they love all tweets? Do they fave every tweet they see? How much time does that take? I admire these people and their generous nature.

5) The egg who made a Twitter just to be sexist and racist

There are thousands of Twitter accounts — tens of thousands? Millions? I don’t know — created just to unleash sexist, racist, homophobic, and otherwise ignorant beliefs. They usually don’t have much of a profile and they don’t use their twitter for anything besides tweeting hate. These people are seriously the dregs of the Earth.

6) The person who only tweets at celebrities

This person constantly tweets at celebrities asking to be noticed or for a birthday shoutout. They’re just waiting for the moment that Katy Perry will tweet them back and give them a lifetime’s worth of validation.

7) The hashtag obsessive

#This #person #doesnt #realize #theres #such #a #thing #as #way #too #many #f*cking #hashtags.

8) The hot Russian girl who wants to send me nudes

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Definitely not a bot. She is real, and she’s into me.

Do you know these people on Twitter? What kind of other Twitter personalities did I miss? Get real meta and tweet at me! @erikaheidewald

Erika Heidewald
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