We love our Disney movies, but sometimes. certain patterns start to pop up that are just too hard to ignore. Like, what’s with all these evil family members? Can a Disney princess just catch a break and have a dope stepmom who braids her hair and lets her date bad boys? Alas, there are no dope stepmoms in the Magic Kingdom. But there are plenty of bad family members. Here are the worst, according to Disney.
1. The Stepmother
Like Lady Tremaine in Cinderella and the Queen in Snow White, stepmoms, according to Disney, are always straight-up evil. Maybe that’s why I was always hesitant about my dad’s new girlfriends…
2. The Stepsister(s)
In the Magic Kingdom, stepsisters aren’t much better. They’ll rip off your pretty dress, get mad when you wear their discarded accessories, and wedge their giant feet into YOUR shoe. Good thing I’m an only child.
3. The Uncle
Scar from The Lion King and Hades from Hercules are both uncles you wouldn’t want to mess with. They’re power hungry, jellybelly of their sibling’s success, and downright scary lookin’. My uncles, on the other hand, are really cool and have no jelly in their belly.
4. The Father
Disney Dads are usually caring and loving of their children, but sometimes their concern for their offspring’s well-being can lead to strife. In short, King Triton got mad at Ariel when he found out she saved a human so he destroyed her grotto full of trinkets. One time my dad said I couldn’t wear my Tweety Bird watch to school because I might lose it. Guess what? I wore it. And lost it.
5. The Mom-Dad Duo (Who Died)
Lastly, the worst type of family member of all according to Disney? The Mom-Dad duo who sadly died early on, leaving their innocent babe in the clutches of evil (or, like, a gorilla). Need us to jog your memory on just how many Disney stories have a parent-less lead character? We have Snow White, Cinderella, Lilo and Stitch, The Fox and the Hound, Frozen, and then some. That’s some sad stuff. To be honest, I’m a little hurt that my parents never got me a Bop It Extreme, but I’m still grateful they’re alive.
What family member do you think Disney totally skewers? Let us know on Twitter @AndiHester!