Nintendo didn’t just reveal Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild yesterday at its E3 Treehouse event — we also got a glimpse at some of the new Pokémon in the upcoming Pokémon Sun and Moon. And of course, as any website worth its salt knows, when new things are announced, they must be ranked in a list. For the just announced Pikipek, Yungoos, and Grubbin, we could evaluate them with a bunch of different criteria — should we go by how tasty they’d be? Or how quickly they’d bring about the end times? But since these new Pokémon remind me of new kids at school — they’re coming into an already established group and trying to ingratiate themselves — we want to see if these Pokémon are cool enough to make it into our
clique starting rosters. Here’s the announcement trailer to give you a little context, and below, we’ll rank the new Pokémon in terms of radness.
Grubbin is a bug-type, and has a stocky little body and is always curled up. It doesn’t look like he has great posture, and don’t his eyes kind of seem dead on the inside? To be honest, Grubbin’s given’ me bad vibes. He’s the kind of dude who comes to your party and stands by the snack table, not talking to anybody. I not only don’t want to let Grubbin into my starting roster, but I don’t even want him to know I train Pokémon. It would be so awkward if he asked to join my roster (and you know he would, Grubbin clearly doesn’t have the social skills to understand when he’s not wanted).
Man, this guy could go either way — clearly Yungoos is a dick, but is he the type of dick who has so much self esteem he’s just comfortable with himself enough to always speak his mind? Or is he the kind of dick who has so little self confidence that he has to take out the negative feelings he has towards himself on those around him? I don’t need that second kind of energy on my roster. I feel really good about my super-long body and tri-pointed tail.
Goddamn Pikipek is cool. The guy’s just so chill — even his attack is just a peck. Like, he hops over all laid back and goes “Sorry dude, just doin’ my job.” Plus, he’s got them nice eyes that say he’ll listen if you want to just talk about whatever. Pikipek is the kind of guy who hangs out with his friends while they do Hard Candy even though it’s not his thing. And not only still respect those friends, but he doesn’t rat them out, because he isn’t a rat. (Literally. He is a bird.) I’d almost feel bad putting him on my starting roster. Maybe he’d let me be on his starting roster?
Which of the new Pokémon do you want in your starting roster? Let us know on Twitter @Smosh!