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'Pokémon Go' Has New Pokémon (You Will Officially Never Catch 'Em All)

Hey there genius, did you spend all of last summer hunting down Pokémon in Pokémon Go? Did you think finding all the Pokémon would lead you to internet fame? Did you think catching ’em all would show you can accomplish something you’d set your mind to, finally proving your dad wrong after all these years? Yeah right, buddy. There’s gonna be a slow drip-drip trickle out of new Pokémon from now until the end of time!

pokemon go new apocalypse
“Just over this hill is an Elekid… and therefore… hope.”
(source)

Just today, developer Niantic announced Pichu and Togepi could emerge from the next egg you hatch, with the rest of the Gen II Pokémon presumably to follow.

Hey completionists: go f*ck yourselves.
(source)

I don’t know, maybe Pokémon Go players want an endless stream of new Pokémon? But I doubt it — if you’d worked hard, traveled all over our great nation, to collect every last Pokémon in Pokémon Go, wouldn’t these new additions be a slap in the face? It’s kind of like saying “congrats on that sick thing you did, but you’re actually only halfway done.” I mean, no one’s doing that to Super Bowl winning quarterback Peyton Manning (even though Peyton Manning’s entire life was football and he absolutely wanted to keep playing and would totally love it if they did).

new pokemon peyton manning
“I can hop in for a few plays if you want.”
“Go spend time with your family, Peyton.”
“They’ve been missing for months. Just one snap?”

(source)

 

Follow Mikey on Twitter @mikeymccollor.

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Mikey McCollor
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