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MOUTHFUL: Should Eatin' an Acai Bowl Make You Feel SHAME?

It can be hard to eat like a grown-up, and that’s why yer hearin’ from ME, a grizzled, deranged cowboy (the most qualified adult, since no baby could survive on the open range). I’ll tell ya which foods are worthy of bein’ consumed by us tough-as-nails grown-ups. This here is MOUTHFUL, and today, we’re talkin’ ACAI BOWLS. Open up.

The point of this Mouthful series is to help you eat like an adult, right? It’s all right to roll outta bed and eat last night’s leftover pizza rolls or a handful of some fast food joint’s silver dollar pancakes… up until yer done with college. Then, you gotta start devourin’ ADULT FOOD. Otherwise, yer gonna have to eat in age-inappropriate SHAME.

mouthful acai bowl pizza
“This would be delicious if the years of depression hadn’t so dulled my sense of taste.”
(source)

And that’s why acai bowls present such a dilemma — the damn things are nothin’ more than a bowl of fruit all blended together with little bits of granola and UN-blended fruit tossed on in. And eatin’ fruit is OBJECTIVELY grown-up, right? But acai bowls TASTE SO FINE that it’s like eatin’ a bowl of candy!

mouthful acai bowls bowls
It’s like ya mashed all yer Halloween candy together and could eat it like cereal, except FRUIT.
(source)

Look, there ain’t nothin’ healthier in this world than acai berries. I know that. You know that. The good lord above knows that. And ADULTS take care of themselves by eatin’ healthy fruit. But blendin’ ’em up and makin’ a sweet little yum yum dish fer yerself is the definition of juvenile. The question becomes — how do you look to others when you’re eatin’ a big ol’ acai bowl? To find out, let’s take a look at Robert, a decidedly adult man who leads business presentations:

mouthful acai bowl robert
(source)

And here’s Robert eatin’ an acai bowl:

mouthful acai bowl robert
(source)

Truly, you will look like an iddy biddy babe when you chompin’ down on that blended banana sludge. But the thing about bein’ an adult is doin’ what’s right fer you — not what looks right for you as seen through the eyes of another. Eatin’ bad food is bad for ya, and an adults don’t do none o’ that, but eatin’ good food that looks like bad food is all right and good in the adult world!

So you do whatever childish nonsense you need to do to get solid food in yer belly — drop some omega 3-packed fish-oil pills in a Tic-Tac box and pop ’em on the go. Drape a slice of vitamin B12-rich salmon over your comically over-sized swirly lollipop. Hire a hypnotist to make yourself think yer eatin’ pizza when yer really eatin’ some kinda vegetable!

mouthful acai bowl kale
This is actually kale.
(source)

What do you put in yer acai bowl? Why not us know on the Twitter there @Smosh!

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mouthful acai bowls bowls
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