Justin Bieber’s fashion choices are so bizarre and inexplicable that it’s usually fruitless to dwell on them. However, one particular recent Bieber ensemble has forced me to give pause and do a double-take.
This week, Biebs was apparently chilling on a beach in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, when he decided to unleash this particular getup on the world: the male crop top. Or, as I like to call it, the PLEASE STOP TOP.
This is simultaneously fantastic and terrible, and yet I simply cannot look away. It’s equal parts grandma, Sporty Spice and Jesse James (the one who cheated on Sandra Bullock, not the American outlaw).
Okay, let’s unpack everything that’s going on with this outfit:
- Biebs is wearing athleisure pants to the beach. I don’t know why this particular facet of the outfit caught my attention, but it seems very telling that this guy wears sweatpants to the beach.
- He is (very likely) wearing non-prescription glasses. As someone who actually needs their eyewear to, you know, see, I take umbrage to this fashion choice.
- He is wearing fake glasses instead of sunglasses. I don’t know, this just strikes me as especially odd. Not only are the glasses not helping him see, they aren’t blocking UV rays, either. They are utterly useless face-gear.
- THE CROP TOP. Okay, yes — technically, this is a tank top that Bieber has rolled up to expose his midriff. But, the question remains: why? Did he want to show off his abs/eagle tattoo? Was he hoping to bring the male crop top onto the fashion scene? Was his stomach particularly hot compared to the rest of his body? And if so, why not just take the shirt completely off?
Suffice it to say: I have no idea what’s happening with this unconventional beach look, but if it encourages other men to walk around wearing sports bras, then I am all for it.