Just because we love Wine Wednesday doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the dankest of all holidays—4/20, baby! It’s getting a little cloudy over here at theBERRY, but even if you’re not high, you’ll giggle like a stoner at these dank weed memes. Put ’em in your pipe and smoke it.
Who is the idiot that called it “possession of marijuana” and not “joint custody”?
— Terry F (@daemonic3) September 17, 2013
*police dog smells weed*
whoever smelt it dealt it
damn ur right
*dog goes to prison*
— Lazy dog (@LaziestCanine) December 3, 2013
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
— Spencer Lenox Hicks (@SpencerLenox) March 29, 2012
If you say “alright” in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) February 24, 2015
me: what time is it?
tour guide: 4:20
me: how can you tell?
tour guide: See how high the sun is?
[sun is eating spaghettiOs with a spatula]
— Slam Squat-Thrust (@Gre_Gone) April 13, 2015
4:35 blaze it sorry traffic was crazy
— Makeup? (@Makeup) April 20, 2015
people who celebrate 4/20 already smoke pot every other day i don’t make up a holiday for jerking off & crying in the shower wtf
— mustard (@nice_mustard) April 20, 2012
Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer.
Mom: You don’t have Cancer!
Me: So it’s working…
— Will Rodgers (@WilliamRodgers) August 13, 2013
It’s really hard to explain that your eyes are really red from allergies and not weed when you’re buying cupcakes and a pound of Doritos.
— Big Ted (@Awk0Tacoo) March 19, 2013
*Sprays weed killer at a local drug dealer* NOT IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD PAL
— Michael, still here (@Home_Halfway) October 6, 2014
*walks up to grocery clerk*
I would like to buy this marijuana
“Sir, that’s broccoli”
*whispers really loud*
It’s okay I’m not a cop
— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) May 18, 2016
Some people like to stir the pot…
…I prefer to smoke it.
— ⚜ ᎦᏞᎽ ℬᏒᎥᎪᏒ ⚜ (@BriarSlyMalice) September 10, 2015
i only go on ebay after i smoke pot that way i’m always the highest bidder thank you check please
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) January 22, 2015
Mufasa: Everything the light touches is our kingdom.
Simba: What about the shadowy place?
Mufasa: That’s where the cool kids smoke weed.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) September 4, 2016
one of my favorite bob marley songs is the one that goes: [in bob marley voice] ” great news! got me some marijuana! love that stuff!”
— johnny crappleseed (@Karate_Horse) March 15, 2016
POLICE: knock knock
DRUG DEALER: who’s there
DD: weed who
P: we’d like to come in and arrest you
DD: lol good one, come on in
— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) November 15, 2014
Maybe cats can smell weed just as well as dogs, they’re just not FUCKING NARCS.
— Chelsea Davison (@chelsea_davison) August 30, 2016
Doctor: are you an active marijuana user?
Me: not really, I usually just sit on the couch and play video games
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) August 23, 2016
[my wife & i catch our son smoking weed]
ME: i’ll talk to him
[wife walks away]
ME: we’re very disa—ok shes gone. when did u get so fkn cool
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) August 17, 2016
4/20? You mean 1/5 reduce your fractions did you even learn math
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) April 20, 2015
ive never been high on weed, i only smoke pot bitch
— cool as h*ck turtle (@dubstep4dads) August 19, 2016
No dude named Josh has ever confidently taken a drug test
— ELDGE (@Sickayduh) August 21, 2014
Boss: Are you high?
[Me watching him evaporate] I hope so.
— GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) January 23, 2015
Smoke all my weed once fool me once
Smoke all my weed twice fool me twice
Smoke all my weed three times fool me 3 times
— Tamara Yajia (@DancesWithTamis) January 21, 2016
I wish my grades would smoke weed so they could get higher.
— FREDDY (@FreddyAmazin) May 27, 2012
do you smoke pot because weed be cute together
— Pickup Lines! (@pickupIines) February 9, 2014
Stoner costume idea: smoke weed with four of your friends and go as a “high five”
— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) October 18, 2013
Marijuana is the gateway drug to taking 45 minutes to pick out which color Gatorade you want to buy.
— Elizabeth (@Elizasoul80) April 26, 2016
Me: If male twins & female twins from separate families procreate will their kids look the same?
Guy: I can’t sell you anymore weed.
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) August 10, 2016
Nate Dogg sang “Smoke weed every day,” and now he’s dead. Maybe that will teach us a thing or two about the dangers of singing
— ♡ brian essbe ♡ (@SortaBad) October 17, 2016
Study finds years of marijuana use can damage your verbal short-term…verbal…you know, your ability to retrieve, to, that is, recall words or
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) February 2, 2016
One time I got so high I tried to use the internet to find my cat’s real parents.
— Zachary? (@GreenishDuck) August 17, 2014