If you experienced an insufferable headache this morning, there’s a very simple explanation: your body has remembered that today is the one-year anniversary of “Hiddleswift,” the relationship that, unfortunately, defined 2016.
Let’s take a stroll down memory lane, shall we? (Maybe take an Advil first.)
It all started at last year’s Met Gala, when Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston matched one another dorky dance move for dorky dance move during a rousing rendition of “Single Ladies.”
From there, the whole, messy saga unfolded.
Three weeks after the Met Gala, Swift broke things off with Calvin Harris, her boyfriend of over a year. Within a week of the breakup, photos surfaced of Taylor and Tom snuggling on a supremely uncomfortable-looking pebble beach.
Many fans speculated that there was, perhaps, a bit of overlap in terms of Calvin Harris and Tom Hiddleston’s involvement with Taylor. After all, the timing was pretty suspect. People also mused that the Hiddleswift relationship was, perhaps, a desperate attempt to distract everyone from the bad publicity Taylor received when Kim Kardashian revealed that Kanye West had actually called to ask Taylor for permission to rap about her in “Famous,” a fact which was contrary to what Swift had told the media. The fallout from this “reveal” made Taylor look like a petty liar, and some felt that the relationship was a convenient way to distract the public.
However, Swift and Hiddleston appeared to shake off the rumors (ha) and the two carried on having one of the most exhibitionist and PDA-infused relationships of the summer.
They attended Selena Gomez concerts together, they met each other’s parents, they frolicked around the Colosseum, they goofed in the waves at Taylor’s annual Fourth of July bash — everything looked almost revoltingly happy. However, in September (right before the Emmys), Taylor broke things off with Hiddleston. Sources claimed that Swift ended the relationship because “Tom wanted the relationship to be more public than she was comfortable with.”
Since then, Taylor hasn’t remarked much on the relationship (although Hiddleston definitely opened up about Swift in more recent interviews). And, one the one-year-anniversary of this weird, weird relationship, I feel compelled to do a bit of a retrospective.
Well, the whole Hiddleswift debacle taught me several life lessons:
1. Fame is relationship poison. If Hiddleston and Swift were just regular people, they would maybe still be together. But, then again, they met at the fucking MET GALA, so never mind. Their whole relationship is rooted in fame.
2. Don’t introduce your rebound to your friends and family. Even though Swift probably thought Hiddleston was “the one,” he was playing a pretty close second to Calvin Harris — and when you date people in such rapid succession, it’s usually best to proceed with caution in terms of incorporating them into your social life.
3. Taylor Swift is kind of the worst. Okay, the Hiddleswift relationship didn’t teach me this, but the whole Kanye West debacle definitely did. Despite cultivating an appearance based on being authentic and genuine, it became really apparent that Taylor is kind of a phony.
4. Tom Hiddleston is super intense. It’s too long to explain, but please read his GQ interview. Like. Just do it. You’ll see what I mean.
5. You should never wear a tacky tank top, even as a joke. Tom famously wore an “I ❤️ TS” tank top during the Fourth of July party, and, even though he’s explained multiple times that it was just a joke, the internet will never forget how weird the whole thing was.
R.I.P., Hiddleswift. I’m kind of glad you’re gone, but it was entertaining while it lasted.