We’ve all wondered — which is more beneficial to mankind — electricity, which powers our appliances and provides us many of the comforts of modern society, or Hot Cheetos, which are bomb af. But it can be hard to determine which invention is objectively superior, which is why we’re using the Invention Convention Judging Form, a form that rates inventions on an objective scale (we think — we found it on Google two second ago) to answer this age old question.
1. Does this invention identify and address a problem?
Electricity: Humans were doing just fine before electricity was thrust upon them. So no.
Hot Cheetos: It is a problem knowing which food you can eat however you’re feeling, whether you’re happy, sad, hate yourself, treating yourself, or bored. So yes.
2. How well has this inventor done research and provided evidence to show that no similar process or product exists?
Electricity: It’s basically encroaching on what the sun, water power, and coal were doing. So electricity isn’t really that innovative an idea.
Hot Cheetos: What else is like Hot Cheetos, hmm? Taki’s? Hot Funyons? Please. Nothing can compare.
3. How knowledgeable and enthusiastic is the inventor about the invention?
Electricity: Benjamin Franklin didn’t really sell us on the idea. He could benefit from some toastmasters classes and a coherent Instagram aesthetic.
Hot Cheetos: Chester Cheetah’s enthusiasm was on fire!
4. How well has the inventor shown that the invention has been tested to ensure that it works?
Electricity: Ol’ Ben did some kite thing in a storm. So like, what? One rainy afternoon?
Hot Cheetos: Okay, the real inventor of Hot Cheetos was a janitor working at a Frito-Lay factory in the ’70s who came up with and successfully pitched the idea. He must’ve worked there for years before coming up with the idea, so again, point Hot Cheetos.
5. How well is this invention designed and/or constructed?
Electricity: Eh, it’s not as grab-and-go as we’d like.
Hot Cheetos: Perfectly designed! They’re like baby carrots that never go bad! Same health benefits too, for serious!
6. How effectively has the inventor advertised and presented the invention?
Electricity: We like the Tesla stores at the local Westfield Shopping Center, but apart from that, the electricity brand isn’t really connecting with us.
Hot Cheetos: We think this video answers the question perfectly:
The winner is clear. Hot Cheetos are the best invention. Disagree? Um, we’re not friends. Agree? Let’s chat Cheetos on Twitter @AndiHester!