WHOA BOY the internet is PISSED, and unlike most cases of the internet getting offended, this time it has a good reason — an article titled “How to Talk to a Woman Who Is Wearing Headphones” was published on Australian pickup artist website (ugh) The Modern Man (double ugh), and people had some HOT TAKES on the matter. Most of them were along these lines:
You don’t. pic.twitter.com/wOVHgCt5UW
— ᴾᴴᴼᴱᴮᴱ (@YoPhoebs) August 29, 2016
Written by self-described “dating and relationship expert” Dan Bacon, (can this story get any more ugh?), the article gives lots of great advice on exactly what not to do when talking to a girl listening to music. Here are some of this jerk’s tips:
And Twitter went OFF on the guy. Here are some of its funniest takes:
1.
how to talk to a woman wearing headphones:
1. be the artist she has currently chosen to listen to through her headphones— jomny sun (@jonnysun) August 30, 2016
2.
*puts on headphones to try to get a man to talk to me*
— ceeks (@70Ceeks) August 31, 2016
3.
‘I NOTICED U AVOIDING EYE CONTACT AND NOT SMILING SO I THOUGHT ID SAY HELLO’ pic.twitter.com/jRQTYO44FF
— DarkSkintDostoyevsky (@daniecal) August 30, 2016
4.
Saw a woman wearing headphones, so I just mouthed the word “Smile!”
— Just Bill (@WilliamAder) August 31, 2016
5.
How To Talk To Anderson Cooper When He’s Wearing Headphones And Running Away Because He Says He Doesn’t Know Me But That’s A Game We Play
— Sam Montgomery (@sammontgomery) August 31, 2016
6.
He died doing what he loved: Trying to talk to a woman who was wearing headphones.
— Lyle Clip Art (@Kyle_Lippert) August 31, 2016
7.
How To Talk To a Woman Who Is Wearing Headphones
1. Take off all your clothes
2. Walk into the sea— Sandra Newman (@sannewman) August 31, 2016
8.
How to Talk to a Woman Wearing Headphones pic.twitter.com/jtGYOOaXFX
— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) August 31, 2016
9.
(approaches girl wearing headphones)
GIRL: “You’re not entitled to my attention!”
ME “Sorry”
(watches girl get trampled by runaway elephant)— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) August 30, 2016
10.
Putting gender aside, if you try to talk to ANYONE with headphones in you’re almost certainly bothering them. How is this hard to understand
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) August 30, 2016
11.
Men feel compelled to interrupt women with earbuds in/headphones on because we’re choosing what we’re listening to. And it’s not them.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) August 30, 2016
12.
No man who has attempted to touch my headphones has lived to tell the tale but honestly I hope they keep trying I love to kill!
— Siobhan Thompson (@vornietom) August 30, 2016
13.
The way for strange men to approach me when I’m just going about my day is the same for when I am, or am not, wearing headphones: don’t.
— Sarah (@thetigersez) August 30, 2016
14.
PSA: Headphones are the universal language for “don’t talk to me unless someone’s running toward us with a knife.”
— shauna (@goldengateblond) August 30, 2016
15.
Disney Princesses Reimagined as Guys Asking You to Take Off Your Headphones So They Can Talk to You
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) August 30, 2016
16.
DEATH: Hey
ME: …
DEATH: I said hey
ME: WTF I’m wearing headphones
DEATH: Oh, sorry— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) August 30, 2016
17.
“How did you and your husband meet?”
“I was wearing headphones and he persistently harassed me to get my attention”
Said no woman ever.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) August 30, 2016
18.
How to approach women who wear headphones:
1) Get in the bin
2) Set the bin on fire
3) Roll the bin away from the woman
4) Towards the sea— David Jackmanson (@djackmanson) August 29, 2016
19.
HOW TO TALK TO A WOMAN WEARING HEADPHONES:
– punch self in face
– when she removes headphones, apologize for thinking she owes you her time— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) August 29, 2016
20.
21.
Hey I just met you
and this is crazy
but if you approach me wearing headphones,
I’ll lecture you on why that’s not ok for 15 minutes, maybe— Laura Waddell (@lauraewaddell) August 30, 2016
22.
How to approach women wearing headphones:
-Advance slowly
-Find cover
-Remain silent and motionless; Their vision is based on movement— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) August 30, 2016
23.
editor, in secret underground mamamia bunker: unleash the worst take
scientist: its not ready
editor: target the headphones
scientist: nooo— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) August 31, 2016
23.
“You look lonely so thought I’d keep you company. I’m Dan. Dan Bacon” pic.twitter.com/DpGkFpniEp
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) August 30, 2016
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