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As I get older, it gets harder for me to hang out with my single friends

I always knew my group of friends would slim down as I got older, it’s just something that happens. I always thought my girlfriends would slowly get married and move away one by one or get too busy with their new careers. Oddly enough, this hasn’t been the case. I have plenty of friends that have been married for years with successful careers, and I see them all the time. It’s the single ones that I’ve been having a harder time keeping in contact with.

1. I’m so done with hangovers.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to knock back a few drinks on the weekends. I just don’t feel the need to get black out drunk every Friday like my single gal pals seem to do. I don’t bounce back like I used to and hangovers can last a whole weekend for me now. I’d much rather do something that didn’t involve puking my brains out and hiding under my covers for the next two days with a box of pizza.

2. None of them actually take my advice.

Very few of my single girlfriends are happy with their relationship status, or lack thereof. They constantly probe me for advice when it comes to guys, but everything I say seems to fall on deaf ears. Conversations always seem to revolve around their single status in life and it gets so frustrating to watch them make the same mistakes over and over again.

3. I get put on the back burner.

When I do go out to a bar with my single girlfriends, I typically leave my fiancee at home so no one’s feeling like a third wheel. The thing that bugs me is when my single gal pal meets a guy and proceeds to ignore me for the rest of the evening. Suddenly I go from enjoying a girl’s night out to competing with random strangers.

4. My idea of fun is a little different now.

When an old friend is in town, the last thing I want to do is go out to a place where I can’t hear myself think. I still love dancing around and getting drunk once in a while, but my idea of fun has changed over the years. I’d rather have a house party where I can actually reconnect with a friend on my couch, or check out a new nice restaurant that just opened up. Most of the time my single girlfriends don’t bother showing up to events where they wouldn’t potentially meet a new guy.

5. I can’t relate to them anymore.

I’m in a very comfortable, stable position in my life. I work from my little house in the suburbs where I live with my fiancee, and life is generally pretty great. When I catch up with my friends, I want to talk about our future plans, politics, things that actually have substance. I’ve never been on Tinder and I don’t know what the hell breadcrumbing is. I can sympathize with my single girlfriend’s struggles, but I just can’t relate, and every conversation seems to go the same way.

6. I feel weird telling them about my life.

When I do manage to convince my single girlfriends to go someplace we can actually catch up, I’m suddenly put in a tight spot. I never know what to say after my friends tell me stories about horrific dates and painful breakups. Suddenly my boring, happy life comes off as braggy and obnoxious when I start to talk about what I’m up to.

7. They change for the wrong reasons.

Most of my single friends are around my age. In reality, we all enjoy the same things. We love to kick back in sweatpants, watch shitty movies, and eat bad food together. Something strange happens when my single friends are out in public, though. They’re like chameleons, able to adapt to any situation, even if they don’t necessarily want to be there.

8. We have different goals.

It seems like my single girlfriends and I are never on the same page anymore. It used to be that we’d all sit around and day dream about boyfriends and kick ass jobs and city living. Now that I’m settled in and happy, I want to focus on things like traveling and building my portfolio for work. Many of my single girlfriends seem like they’re stuck in a rut. I wish that they could see having a man isn’t the key to living a fulfilling life.

9. I’ve embraced my age.

My single girlfriends still act as if we’re the young, crazy, vibrant people we were in college. I certainly don’t have the ability to pull an all nighter anymore and I’m okay with it.

10. I truly want the best for them.

My single girlfriends have the ability to exhaust me by just telling me what our weekend plans consist of, but I still love them to death. I know the reason they’re out all the time is to increase their chances of finding a guy, and I totally get it. Just because I can’t keep up like I used to doesn’t mean I want to give up on our friendship. Sometimes, it’s just difficult for me to watch them make the same mistakes and end up with the same disappointing results.

Jessica Grace is a proud Pittsburgher that loves to drink tea and adopt cats in her spare time. She is a self-proclaimed Slytherin and would like to visit Harry Potter World as soon as possible!

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