Remember when you saw your first rom-com? You thought, “wow, a guy has to write an article about a girl but he falls in love with her in the process?! Man, where do they come up with this great stuff?” Well, for the movies on this list, the answer is somewhere between the muggiest underground parking garage and Hell. Here are the worst romantic comedy plots ever.
Tess and Finnegan (Finn for short, because that’s a more real sounding name for sure) rekindle their romance while hunting for lost treasure. But watch out! A local gangster named Bigg Bunny is also after the treasure. The amount of bronzer used in this movie alone makes it the worst.
Forces of Nature
Nervous guy and free-spirited woman are seated next to each other on a plane when a bird flies into one of the engines. This forces the two to travel together on land, but lo and behold, weird things keep happening to keep them from reaching their destination. We can’t tell what’s worse — the flimsy plot or this awkward thing Ben Affleck’s doing with his arms:
Let’s break down the plot just in case your rosy image of Pretty Woman as a classic, heartfelt movie has clouded your vision — businessman hires hooker and falls in love with her after she gets all proper-like. Ahh, it’s every young girl’s dream.
Good Luck Chuck
Chuck was cursed at age 12 when he refused to have sex with a goth girl. Now whenever he has sex with a woman, she gets married to the next guy she meets. But when Chuck meets Cam (again, great names, so realistic), he struggles with his primal urges because he really likes her!
Rumor Has It
This plot is complicated (shocker). Rachel Green — that’s not the Jennifer Aniston character’s actual name, but let’s be real, she always plays the same character — finds out her mom hooked up with a guy right before getting married to Rachel’s dad. Fearing the random guy could be Rachel’s real father, she goes looking for him. He’s sterile and can’t be her dad. So naturally they hook up. Then she finds out that not only did her mom, but her grandma hooked up with this guy. Ah, family.
Made of Honor
We swear this movie came from a studio exec who said, “Wouldn’t it be funny if we had a movie called ‘Made of Honor’ except ‘Made’ wasn’t spelled right?” The plot is the most cliche thing ever — someone harbors feelings for someone for like a million years, then someone gets married so the other someone must say how they feel. Ugh. There’s also an awkward Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky thread in this movie that just makes us cringe.
Did You Hear About the Morgans
A New York power couple is about to divorce when they witness a murder. They’re forced to enter witness protection together, because we wouldn’t have a movie otherwise. With the backdrop of small Wyoming charm, they rekindle their love for each other as they chop kindling. (That horrible sentence was better than the plot of this whole movie.)
As one of the more realistic plots out there, The Switch shows us what would happen if a guy got drunk and switched his man juice with a donor’s man juice. The lady gets upset when she finds out (ugh women, amiright?!) seven years later that her baby daddy is actually her destined lover and not a random hottie. But she gets over it and they end up happily ever after. Didn’t see that one coming.
Just Go With It
This one features Rachel Green — again, Jennifer Aniston should try stretching herself a bit — wearing glasses and a lab coat… until she transforms and becomes Rachel Green without glasses and a lab coat. Wow!! You itching to hear the plot now? Okay! Dude pretends to be married to get girls. Dude meets hot blonde but she thinks he’s married. Dude has Rachel Green pretend to be his ex-wife. Hot blonde walks out of ocean in bikini. Dude and Jennifer Aniston get together in the end.
Our brain feels like mush after all those awful plots. This must be what it feels like after a long life of boozin’, usin’, and cruisin’. We don’t even know what that sentence was supposed to mean. Plz send your thoughts and prayers to @AndiHester.