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8 Apocalypses Far More Likely Than a Zombie Outbreak

Contagion scene jpg

Zombies aren’t real and the zombie apocalypse is not going to happen (probably). But that doesn’t mean the world isn’t going to end in our lifetime — it’s entirely possible that the apocalypse is not only coming but is just around the corner. Here are eight apocalypse scenarios more likely than zombies.

1) A pandemic wipes out the population

Contagion scene jpg
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I once watched a TV movie about an avian flu outbreak and it ended with every single person on Earth dying. Truly great film. We are at increased risk for a pandemic because of our massive population growth, population density in cities, and the fact that we’re all so interconnected. An illness could travel across the world before people in the country of origin even knew it existed. And thanks to our overuse of antibiotics, more disease strains are becoming resistant to medicine and thus to treatment. If a new antibiotic-resistant strain of a disease traveled all around the world before we could quarantine it or find a cure, we could certainly find ourselves in an end of days situation.

2) Nuclear war

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It’s a classic for a reason. Even very limited nuclear war would kill millions, make swaths of our planet uninhabitable, and change the world forever. Last week a report circulated that Donald Trump asked one of his advisors multiple times why we can’t use our nuclear weapons, seeing as we have them. There’s a really good reason, Donald, in case you’re reading — it puts us on the fast track to killing everyone on the planet. There’s a reason the Cold War never became a hot war, because both countries possessing nukes meant mutually assured destruction. Dosvidanya, my friends.

3) An explosion of a super-volcano changes the Earth’s climate/kills all our food

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The Yellowstone caldera has the potential to be a super-volcano. If it erupted, lava would flow for 40 miles and ash would cover the ground as far as New York and poison agriculture across North America. Some experts even think it would change weather patterns and affect food production so drastically that people all over the planet would starve. Earth hasn’t seen a super-volcano eruption in 25,000 years and Yellowstone hasn’t erupted for 640,000 but it could happen at any damn time.

4) Regular ol’ climate change

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Climate change could cause the displacement of millions thanks to rising tides as well as massive starvation. And what happens when people all over the world start starving to death? That’s right, they start f*cking rioting. And that’s the end of the world.

5) Dinosaur-style asteroid

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An asteroid wiped out a large portion of life on Earth before and it can do it again.

6) A gamma ray burst

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At any time, our atmosphere (and us along with it) could be obliterated by a burst of highly energetic radioactive particles from an exploding star. At. Any. Time.

7) We are killed by our own creations

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Stephen Hawking believes humans will invent artificial intelligence and then robots with AI will kill us all. That’s right, the smartest man on Earth is genuinely concerned that humanity will be wiped out by robots. The fun thing about this is that even though we don’t need to invent AI, and the risks are very real, we totally will. That’s what we are like as a species. If we can invent it, even if it’s really bad, we will do it. And possibly none of us will live to tell the tale.

8) The wrong person gets elected president in November

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To avoid getting too political, I’ll let you answer this for yourself — if (whichever presidential candidate you don’t like) is elected, we’re all done for. It’s like a choose your own adventure! (Where the end result is all of us die.)

What’s your favorite apocalypse? Did I miss any good ones? I can talk about this sh*t all day because there’s something wrong with me. Tweet me @erikaheidewald!

Contributor: 
Erika Heidewald
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Contagion scene jpg
dinosaur asteroid gif
gamma ray jpg
muppet die gif
El Nino gif
nuclear explosion gif
robots burn gif
Yellowstone explosion gif

What do you think?

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