I love to sleep. I like to get 8 ½ hours a night, and any less generally makes me feel like garbage. I can fall asleep anywhere, any time. I’ve gone to sleep in the bleachers at a packed college basketball game, while eating at Panera, and right in the middle of many conversations. I wish I was sleeping right now. And if you’re like me, here are seven things that you, the people who really love to sleep, will understand.
1) Naps are God’s greatest gift
Nothing is better than a good nap when you’re tired. I remember many of the greatest naps of my life and count them as some of my best memories. Just look at animals – they nap all the time. Cats, dogs, lizards — they all know what’s up.
2) Getting enough sleep makes you beautiful, kind, and smart
Science backs me up on this — sleep is crucial for your health. Your brain functions better when you’ve gotten enough sleep, your risk of heart disease is lower, and your skin glows with more time to repair. You’re even less likely to get dementia. I also know from my personal experience that I am a completely different person depending on how much sleep I’ve gotten and sleep-deprived Erika is an absolute b*tch on wheels.
3) I will choose sleep over just about anything
You could tell me that Britney Spears (who I love) was going to be giving out free hugs in my neighborhood and I would be like “OMG! So there! Nothing can stop me!” But if you told me it was at 7 AM, I’d probably skip it.
4) Alarms are the worst human invention
Actually, maybe time is the worst human invention. Who needs it? It’s always just telling us to wake up at times when we’d rather be sleeping.
5) You’re always calculating how much sleep you can get
True sleep lovers know exactly what time they have to go to bed and how long it will take them to fall asleep. Like right now, I can get seven hours of sleep if I get to sleep in the next 18 minutes ah I gotta finish this article!
6) You’ll sleep anywhere
All sleep is good sleep. On the floor, in a chair, swinging in a hammock, standing up like an astronaut. Who cares, it counts.
7) You have specific opinions on your ideal sleeping arrangement
You’ll sleep anywhere, but you’d prefer to sleep in your ideal sleep situation. You’re picky about your bed, your pillows, your snooze tunes, everything. Someday you will buy a fancy-ass mattress. Someday. I once got to sleep on a TempurPedic at a friend’s house and I’ll tell you what, it really is heaven.
Do you love to sleep? Do you think you love to sleep even more than ME? Do you work for TempurPedic and want to send me a free mattress? Tweet at me and let me know!@erikaheidewald!