Kids movies can be surprising, even for adults. Sometimes it’s because they’re surprisingly good, sometimes it’s because they’re a little risque, and other times it’s because… well, it’s they’re so bad. That can even happen with classic kids movies — there are some beloved kids movies out there that I am simply not a fan of. Want more information? Baby, you GOT IT!
The Karate Kid
The heartwarming tale of an old man who teaches a kid to beat up the boyfriend of the girl that he was flirting with. The only perks of The Karate Kid are that shower Halloween costume, and then at the end the bad kid comes around to appreciate how tough the hero is. That’s something kids actually could learn a lot from.
I know Chappelle’s Show already made this joke, but those burglars would’ve just killed that kid. Or, they would’ve left. I mean, there are tons of homes to burglarize on Christmas Eve! That’s when everyone is out of town! Also, no way do the parents not get someone to check on lil’ Kevin back at the house after they discover they forgot him. They’d call EVERYONE.
The Sound Of Music
Long. Long long long long LONG! This movie is so long my mom made me watch it when I was 12 and it’s still playing on their TV today. Also, the actor who plays the dad and the actor who plays the oldest daughter were clearly sexually attracted to each other in real life, and that just makes for some… weird performances.
For real, the new one is SO much better. This version of Pete’s Dragon is not particularly enjoyable, and on top of that, it’s clearly a desperate attempt to get that Mary Poppins magic back (SURPRISE! It’s magic-free.)
A bit of a low hanging fruit, but Cars made a ton of money and spawned an even worse sequel that also made a ton of money. In addition, noted youth film critic Lights Camera JACKSON™ rated it as his number one Pixar movie, so at least that kid/guy needs some hard truths dropped on him.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
This movie is not simply no good, but it’s also two hours and thirty minutes long, and is just CRAMMED with child actors. Pretty much everyone in the movies goes on to be pretty good in their roles (and a lot of them went on to be good in other roles as well) but Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone showed that the franchise had some real growing pains.
In theory, Space Jam is a hilarious classic of the kids movie genre. In practice, though, it’s bad. Michael Jordan is a bad actor when he’s performing opposite actual people; he struggles even more against cartoons that are to be edited in at a later time.
Can you think of any beloved kids movies that are actually trash? Let us know on Twitter @Smosh!