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7 Kinds Entertainment That Sadly No Longer Distract Me From the State of the World

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there’s an election going right now, and it sucks so effing hard that I could use whatever distractions that are available. See, this is a time when distractions are great — they can take your mind off of whatever anxiety your brain is pushing on you. Unfortunately, a lot of my go-to distractions are no longer working for me. Let me give some examples of the distractions that are no longer effective:

Superhero Movies

the joker is unsure
(source)

I guess the novelty has just worn off! Ever since Spider-Man came out, it’s been exciting to see accurate representations of superheroes on screen. Now, though? The novelty of comic representation isn’t enough anymore — the movies themselves have to be compelling, and even a lot of the ones that start off good end up petering out because they’re 1) too long, or 2) just a bunch of punching and shooting. Superhero movies have to get more interesting.

Sports

nfl players in bouncy castle
(source)

There was a time where I could count on athletes to only occasionally say something homophobic or xenophobic, apologizing, and then letting us move on with our lives. Now though, athletes have gotten political as hell, which, listen, I absolutely think is great (well, it’s usually great — some athletes are the scum of the Earth). I like people with prominent voices talking about things like civil rights, and it’s absolutely a net positive for society. But it does mean that the real world has suddenly become a part of my good ol’ sports time.

Playing with a Dog

dog is furious with other dog
(source)

Owning a dog with a bunch of health problems has instilled in my brain the knowledge that 1) as fun as playing with a dog is, that dog will inevitably be a pain in the ass a whole bunch of time, and 2) that incredibly cute dog will die. I know that the grim specter of death looms over us all (especially with the current election going on) but for some reason it weighs more on me when it comes to dogs.

The Hallway Fight From Oldboy

I’ve just seen it so many times.

Really Dumb Reality Competitions

t-rex ninja warrior course
(source)

Oh God, American Ninja Warrior, why have you forsaken me in my greatest time of need?!?!

Really Dumb Reality Home Makeover Shows

you picked the wrong house
(source)

Oh God, Love It Or List It, why have you forsaken me in my greatest time of– wait, maybe it’s because I’m aware that the world economy has been obliterated so badly that the odds of my ever not living under financial distress are almost none, and seeing people who have the audacity to own a home just reminds me of that fact?

Standing in the Shower, Just Staring Into the Middle Distance

singing in the shower alone
(source)

There is a drought where I live, so I really should be conserving water, and just standing in the shower while nothing is coming out of the shower head just feels silly, y’know?

Please God, if you know of some way which I can distract myself from the horrors of existence PLEASE let me know on twitter @Smosh!

Contributor: 
Will Weldon
View Count: 
4
Weekly View Count: 
4
Mass images: 
nfl players in bouncy castle
you picked the wrong house
dog is furious with other dog
singing in the shower alone
the joker is unsure
t-rex ninja warrior course

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