Tinder can be a rough game. We’re all just trying to meet the love of our life/someone to Netflix and Chill with without getting killed and having our organs sold on the black market. It can be really frustrating to know deep in your heart of hearts that you’re not a psychopath but still have strangers fear you are. But worry not — there are many ways to use Tinder without seeming like a creepy murderer. Here’s how!
1) Put up multiple good pictures
Make it easy for someone to figure out what you really look like. A good photo doesn’t have to be one where you look like a model — just one where you look like yourself. Multiple photos (that aren’t just you in a group) will make you easier to identify and recognize when they actually meet you. When people post pictures that are blurry or you can’t tell which person they are, it seems like they don’t want you to actually know what they look like. And that either means you think you’re ugly or you’re a creepy murderer and both of those are bad.
2) No shirtless photos
Just don’t post them. They’re weird and creepy and you never look as good as you think you do. And especially avoid shirtless mirror selfies. Although, honestly, if you’re the type of guy to post a shirtless mirror selfie, you are weird and I don’t wish you luck on Tinder.
3) Write a short bio
Describe yourself — list some interests, say where you go to school, talk about your a dog. Let that person swiping on your face know you’re a relatable human being. This will also help with opening conversations! Disclaimer: this tip does not work if your bio is creepy as f*ck like this guy’s.
4) Be cool with meeting in a public place
Some people will be down to meet you at your house at 3am. Those are bold people, and I wish them luck. But many, many other people will want to meet you in a public place first. Be cool with that. In fact, you should suggest it! Put them at ease. Offer to meet at Starbucks. People almost never get murdered there.
5) Start a conversation
Talk to them about normal stuff. No creepy sexts, no d*ck pics, no asking them how they like their pancakes in the morning. Just talk to them like they’re a person you’d like to get to know. Ask them questions the way you might if you met them in person. Just act like a human being.
6) Don’t freak out if someone’s a little afraid to meet you
Sometimes people are worried to meet someone they don’t know. Don’t flip about it — it makes you seem like a creep. Saying “calm down, I’m not a rapist” does not make me feel like you aren’t a rapist. Maybe you know you’re not a rapist, but the person you’re going to meet does not. So be a little understanding that they’re just trying to stay alive. Making meeting a little less scary for them might mean messaging for a few days, getting together in the afternoon, whatever. People who aren’t creeps want the person they’re meeting to feel safe and comfortable. If you’re just annoyed that a girl who doesn’t know you can’t read your mind and know you don’t want to rape her, then it sounds like you actually are a creep and this list can’t help you. Go to therapy.
Do you have any other tips to not seem like a creepy murderer on Tinder? Has anybody creeped you out on a dating app? Has anybody ever NOT creeped you out on a dating app? Let me know @erikaheidewald!