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6 Thoughts You Have When You Miss Your Period

The only thing worse than getting your period is not getting your period at all. And while the first day can feel like actual hell, a late period puts you through all sorts of pain as well. And it goes a little something like this:

I am Pregnant

pregnant
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It doesn’t matter when the last time you knew the pleasures of the flesh. Your first thought is that you are pregnant. Hey, immaculate conception happened once just over two thousand years ago, and it is happening again now. You are knocked up with the next Messiah. That’s the only logical explanation.

I Should Go to the Doctor but Also I’m Fine

doctor spaceman 30 rock
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You worry that not getting a period is a sign that you’re dying and your insides are about to fall out, but it’s probably fine. Your body isn’t doing something it normally does, so you should definitely get it checked out, but also it’s probably nothing maybe? And if you wait it out and don’t die in the next few days, it’s likely you won’t die at all, right?

I’ll Get it if I Wear My Good Undies

marilyn monroe white dress
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Taking a lot of Vitamin C has been found to induce a period, and wearing your good undies can give you the same result. It’s like a weird Field of Dreams scenario — if you wear them, it will come. It’s almost as if your body is waiting to ruin your nice knickers just to mess with you. And it’s the same deal if you wear white.

Can I Just Not Get it At All?

break from stress
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How about Nature gives you a vacation month from your period for a change? Can that just happen? You’ve been really good about getting them every month, so why not just take a month off? Time off for good behavior, right?

My Period Must be Stuck

jasmine aladdin
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There’s no science behind this thought, but that has to be the case. You’re the first person in medical history to ever get a stuck period. Now you’re a medical freak of nature. This is just your life now.

F*******ck I Might be Pregnant

golden girls period
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You’re not. But you still can’t help but think you are. It’s the one unshakable thought that haunts you no matter what. Call Science, because we have a modern miracle on our hands!

What do you think is the worst part of a late period? Let us know on Twitter!

Contributor: 
Heidi Lux
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