in

6 Different Types of Jaded Teens

Teens, man! Boy oh boy do adults have opinions about teens! Talk about an odd couple! It’s like “Wow, will teens and adults EVER get along?” To help ease that tension, Smosh has gone through an extensive scientific research process to label and categorize the different types of teens, something we’re sure they’re cool with that is NOT creepy at all. The first type of teen we have catalogued is quite common — the jaded teen. Here are the six types of jaded teens there are in the world. You will never meet a jaded teen that doesn’t fit one of these descriptions.

The One Who Knows a Lot About Holidays

You can find this particular type of jaded teen at almost any family gathering or holiday dinner. Their jadedness is derived from a clear understanding that most holidays are actually commercialized and don’t relate to whatever historical event to which they claim to honor. You can spot these teens almost immediately by the pronounced eye-roll and eagerness to explain the horrific origins of basically every holiday (even though everyone already knows Thanksgiving is basically celebrating a genocide).

The Political Savant

Politics are all a scam to this type of jaded teen. While they might not be old enough to vote, they can for sure tell you that the two party system is flawed and we need to seriously reconsider the electoral college. Their jadedness is pretty powerful and can last well into adulthood. They should be feared for their investment in something as boring as politics and the fact that their takes are generally not too far off the mark.

The Teen That Thinks They’re Above Other Teens Because They Constantly Say Teens Are Dumb

jaded teen smh
(source)

This jaded teens is extremely powerful, using its power of self-awareness to deride its peers. It is a clever trick that can often fool adults, who assume the teen is taking their side in the eternal war between young and old. This jaded teen’s condescension towards traditional high school antics gives them high social ranking among adults and also protects them from other teens (since they’ve already labeled those adversaries “immature”). Of course, the flaw in this teen’s strategy is that they’re not included in cool teen activities like laser tag, wearing sunglasses, and online chatrooms.

The One Who Was Brutally Murdered by a Member of Batman’s Rogues Gallery

jaded teen robin
(source)

This jaded teen has definitely seen some stuff. But since they can’t talk about their work (without revealing their secret identity), they’re unable to express the nightmares accumulated from going up against gang members, mutant crocodiles, and sociopathic clowns throughout childhood. To the outside observer, this teen isn’t really that jaded. They’re just kind of sulky. Years down the road, though, their inability to lead a normal life will show just how jaded they are. That is. of course. only if they hadn’t been killed. And they were. So yeah. They were a jaded teen. Past tense. Now they are a dead jaded teen. Present tense.

Literally Made of Jade

jaded teen jade
(source)

This is a very dangerous jaded teen. Extremely heavy. Very valuable. Possibly cursed.

Jaden Smith

jaded teen jaden
(source)

This is believed to be the jaded teen’s final form. It is super rare. Honestly, we’re not even sure if this teen is real and not just a legendary teen made up in ancient texts. Because how can he be real if mirrors aren’t real because, in turn, eyes aren’t real?

Any other types of jaded teens you’ve encountered? I know for a fact there are so why not just tell me about one of them on Twitter @Smosh?

Contributor: 
James Shickich
View Count: 
1
Weekly View Count: 
1
Mass images: 
jaded teen jade
jaded teen jaden
jaded teen robin
jaded teen smh

What do you think?

Comments

Leave a Reply

Loading…

Loading…

0

Comments

0 comments

Chinese ad breaks down borders and brings people together with sports and beer

It’s high time we simply stopped assuming that Japan will ever…