Summer camp is one of the greatest pleasures of childhood, right behind Fruit-By-The-Foot and being able to blow bubbles in public. But nothing makes you long for those shallow summer friendships like the first summer that you have to go to work, which is why summer camps are coming back in a big way for adults. Because what could go wrong when you combine classic camp activities like archery and sleeping in a multi-person bunk with classic adult activities like getting blind drunk and infidelity? Check out these summer camps for adults!
Camp No Counselors
Can you guess how many counselors there are at Camp No Counselors? If you guessed zero, you would be correct. Camp No Counselors events consist of basically music festival-levels of drinking and partying, minus the live music plus a bunch of classic camp events. It features an open bar, themed nightly parties, and the blessing of Shark Tank shark Mark Cuban.
How does shutting the f*ck up for about 10 days sound? Sorry, that felt like it came out harshly. How would you feel about attending a spiritual meditation seminar where you aren’t allowed to speak to anyone for 10 days as part of an intense meditation insight technique that forces your perspective inward? Sound good? It might sound tough, but people who have made it all the way through the 10 days say it’s life-changing. Oh, and it’s pretty great if you’re lazy (read: crazy) because you aren’t allowed to read or write or exercise or listen to music or watch any media during the retreat either. It’s just you alone with your thoughts for over a week. And I would really recommend you do it so you can see what the rest of us are dealing with when we’re around you.
Yellowstone Under Canvas
Did you know the English language has created a portmanteau for when camping becomes glamorous? Well we have. It’s “glamping”, and there is no better definition for it than Yellowstone Under Canvas. Imagine camping just ten minutes outside of Yellowstone National Park in a canvas tent with so many regal amenities you’ll feel like you’re from one of the great houses in Game of Thrones. Plus there’s an on-site restaurant and tons of cool activities like fly fishing, biking, guided tours, spa days, zip-lining, and horseback riding, but NOT horseback riding into battle with your vanguard to prove to your men that you are noble and courageous and a leader worth fighting for. They frown on that particular type of riding.
Have you ever wanted to go camping in a Wes Anderson film full of twee and whimsical nostalgic surroundings? No? You’re more of a Paul Thomas Anderson-type of person? Okay, well I guess go camp with Daniel Day Lewis in a tipi somewhere. But if you do love that eccentric by-gone-era vibe, head to Camp Wandawega in Wisconsin to sleep in three story houses and peruse the old-school private beach and fishing pier and the “no-frills” classic camping atmosphere. It’s like an Instagram filter came to life and let you set up a tent inside it.
Imagine if you will an adult summer camp that combines the “arts and crafts” aspect of camp with the “activities” portion of camp and then ratcheted up the bad ass factor by about a million. That’s what you get if you go to Grain Surfboard summer retreats.
Binge Watch Bug Juice In Your Apartment
Of course if you don’t want to spend your hard earned adult money on going back to summer camp, you can always just open all the windows in your house, leave some stagnate water out for mosquitoes to congregate at, and binge watch Bug Juice (every episode is on YouTube). That’s honestly probably a better deal.
Do you have an idea for an adult summer camp that I can invest in? Tell me about it on Twitter @Smosh! Please! I have so much money and so few things to invest in!