Everyone loves a good contest, especially when the prize is the ultimate power: to name something. And while with great power comes great responsibility, with the great power to name something comes the great responsibility of giving that thing the most ridiculous, unprofessional, silly name possible. The following name contest winners held up that responsibility and then some.
A Slovakian Bridge Named “Chuck Norris”
A contest to name a new cycling bridge that connects Austria with Slovakia gained 12,599 votes in favor of the name “Chuck Norris”. Slovakian officials obviously knew the bridge wasn’t worthy, and gave it the more boring name of “Freedom Cycling-Bridge”, which got only 457 votes. (Um, that’s not how democracy works, Slovakia!)
A Trash Dump Named “Fred Durst Society for the Humanities and Arts”
In 2012, the people of Austin, TX were asked to name a new waste transfer facility. Former trash collector (and clearly the most-qualified man for the job) Kyle Hentges threw “The Fred Durst Society for the Humanities and Arts” into the hat, and it got over 30,000 votes. But because anything to do with any kind of official local government business is boring/sh*tty, the city overrode the vote and went with “Austin Resource Recovery”. #Booooooo…
A Whale Named “Mr. Splashy Pants”
Greenpeace held a contest to name a group of whales they were tracking to raise awareness of the endangered species. Thanks to Reddit, “Mr. Splashy Pants” quickly became the most popular name, winning 119,367 votes (74% of the total votes counted). Greenpeace (unlike some other awful organizations on this list) honored the name!
A Ship Named “The HMS Boaty McBoatface”
The first name thrown out there for a $287 million British ship was “Boaty McBoatface”, suggested by a British man named James Hand. Hand’s suggestion garnered so much attention and support that he has been asked by Royal Caribbean to name their new boat for them. (**Okay I just need to put it out there that if “boat naming” is an actual job I can get paid to do, I want/need that job).
A Baby Named “Cthulhu All-Spark”
British Columbia couple Alysha and Stephen McLaughlin asked the internet to name their baby, so what did they really expect? The first place choice was Cthulhu All-Spark. (FYI “Cthulhu” is a mythical tentacle-faced creature from H.P. Lovecraft, which explains the adorable outfit the baby is rocking above). Unfortunately, the parents didn’t keep their word and went with the second place choice — Amelia Savannah Joy. (Don’t worry, Amelia! You can legally change it back to Cthulhu when you’re old enough!)
So, if you were to win a game of renaming say… SMOSH, what would you rename us? Tweet us your name choice @Smosh!