It’s bad enough dealing with the totalitarian regimes of companies like General Mills and Kellogg’s. (what are you hiding, BIG CEREAL?) What’s even worse is when movies and TV shows get thrown haphazardly into the mix, resulting in tie-ins nobody ever wanted. Here are five of the worst food tie-ins.
Batman v. Superman cereal
It’s bad enough that Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (or BvS: DoJ, if you’re into the whole brevity thing) wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. It’s even worse that it resulted in not one, but TWO tie-in breakfast cereals, doubling down on the hope that impressionable kids would be SUPER into an overly long, overly dark superhero fight that didn’t feature any more than about eight minutes of actual superhero fighting. Enjoy the taste of mediocrity, kids, now in TWO flavors!
Hostess Green Lantern Glo Balls
To be fair, this wasn’t necessarily based on the atrocious Ryan Reynolds vehicle, but it’s hard to imagine it wasn’t trying to pre-emptively cash in on what didn’t seem like a complete trainwreck at the time. This probably made as many people queasy as the truly horrendous Green Lantern coaster at Six Flags Magic Mountain, and if you don’t know why that is or haven’t ridden that bad boy, you’ve clearly never done anything bad enough to deserve that experience.
Whatever your thoughts are on the new Ghostbusters (and if you were one of those folks who pre-emptively gave it a negative review before seeing it, go ahead and keep it to yourself), I think we’re all in agreement that Twinkies filled with lime filling isn’t something we needed, let alone “sour” lime filling. If I ate these, I’d definitely be sliming all over the place, so, you know, at least it ties in thematically.
Jar-Jar Binks Tongue
Some marketing guy must have been like, “I know fans hate Jar-Jar Binks with the fire of a thousand suns, but I bet sucking on his weird tongue will make them like him more, right? Right? Guys?!“
Star Trek Waffles
Did we really just start printing images on waffles and calling it a day? Looking at the artwork, I legitimately thought this was a Star Trek tie-in from, like, decades ago. Au contraire, this tie-in is from the 2009 J.J. ABRAMS STAR TREK. The images are almost TOO colorful, like an uncanny valley of printing. When it comes to awful ideas like this, take a cue from the marketing folks and LEGGO MY DAMNED EGGO.
How much pop culture connectivity do you like in your food products? Let me know on Twitter!