McDonald’s has served billions and billions of happy (and not so happy) customers over the decades, and one of the burger chain’s best-selling items is their signature Happy Meal, in which they bribe innocent children with promise of toys in exchange for downing only the most delicious of processed meats. And sometimes, those toys result in endings slightly less than what one might call “happy”. Here are five Happy Meal toys that ended up being recalled.
Hello Kitty Whistle
Back in 2014, McDonald’s recalled 2.3 MILLION of these tiny little whistles, because, wouldn’t you know it, tiny plastic things sometimes pose choking hazards. If I can be real, my first guess was legitimately that they got recalled because they were vaguely thong-shaped. Sisqo would be thrilled.
While these weren’t technically recalled, there was vehement demand for them to be in 2015. If you haven’t been subjected to the onslaught of the Minions, they speak a made-up language creatively known as “Minionese”, a mishmash of various other languages. These toys, to the sensitive ears of some parents, included the phrase “WHAT THE F*CK” in the Minionese lexicon. Little do they know, that side of the little creatures are definitely being saved for the Tarantino reboot.
Shrek: Forever After Glassware
Back in the waning days of the Shrek franchise, these glasses came down the pipeline. While the official recall notice stated that it was simply a precaution, JUST TO BE SAFE, the implication was also that these MAY have contained traces of cadmium (the highly toxic metal, not the creme eggs filling).
More tiny plastic toys! More potentially lethal choking hazards! Scooter Bug here looks a little bit deranged, so seeing him crawl around on my floor isn’t really something I’m up for, anyway. Good job getting this one off the streets, McD’s.
Sonic the Hedgehog Tails Launcher
Back in the 1990’s, Sonic and his friends were where it’s at for those (weird, eternally wrong) Genesis kids you went to school with. Inevitably, they all got the Happy Meal toy treatment, but the flying Tails Launcher would be short-lived. Flying toys are never wise, because that’s how you wind up with drones, and THAT is how you wind up with SKYNET. It’s a slippery slope, guys.
Which insanely dangerous weapon would you masquerade as a child’s plaything and hand out for all to enjoy? Let me know on Twitter!