Here are 40 reminders from Twitter that you don’t need a man—as if you even needed to be reminded.
If your boyfriend ever tells you that “you have too many books” what you really have is one too many boyfriends.
— JenAshleyWright (@JenAshleyWright) August 5, 2016
Boyfriends are not a great resource when you need an honest opinion on whether your outfit is too slutty.
— Tess Barker (@TesstifyBarker) July 24, 2016
If a bear confronts you in the woods, make it go away by handing it a flyer for your boyfriend’s band’s show.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) August 29, 2014
New boyfriend is allergic to kitten so can’t keep him ? He’s ginger & named Tom. Friendly. Comes when called. 28yrs-old & works in IT.
— Periwinkle Jones (@peachesanscream) November 28, 2012
Is ya boyfriend even ya boyfriend if he doesn’t constantly lie on your hair and rip it out your skull
— A M Y (@itsamylloyd) February 7, 2017
See if u don’t get the absolute fear after ur boyfriend or boy ur talking to says he went n got a haircut ur a fuckin liar
— AIMEE (@_aimeeconnolly) April 13, 2015
If I get a boyfriend I’m not gone know wtf to do with it… like do you walk it ??? feed it? what it eat???
— rayray?? (@goota2timez) September 29, 2015
Call me romantic, but I STILL get butterflies every time I look across the room & see my boyfriend checking my Google search history.
— Periwinkle Jones (@peachesanscream) April 20, 2015
who needs a boyfriend when your bank account goes down on you every day
— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) November 6, 2014
Literally never care about having a boyfriend until I’m in bed and realize I’ve forgotten to turn off the light.
— shelby fero (@shelbyfero) June 2, 2015
I’m less looking for a boyfriend and more looking for someone standing near me when I need to make a snarky observation about something.
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) August 30, 2015
“Hmmm… not exactly boyfriend material.” -me, shopping for fabric to make a body pillow
— Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) July 8, 2013
Mostly just want a boyfriend so someone else can go on the coffee run in the morning.
— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) November 21, 2015
[boyfriend gets down on one knee]
Him: will you marry me
Me: ya, this could totally have waited until after I finished my burger
— Amanda Hugnkiss (@caliluvgirl77) December 7, 2015
my boyfriend won’t need to have multiple girls on the side… I have multiple personalities, just tell me which one to unleash boo
— ZENDEE (@Zendeeofficial) May 8, 2016
when ur friend gets a boyfriend and doesn’t want to listen to u breathe on FaceTime anymore ??
— nneka (@nnekatenika) March 14, 2017
Nick reminding me of this one Liz Lemon quote: “Dennis is my boyfriend because he inquired. He was the only applicant”
— Alex Burns (@alexburnsNYT) March 14, 2017
girls glorify the idea of having a boyfriend as a best friend, but no one talks about how much it destroys u when u lose 2 people in one
— on her period (@onherperiod) March 13, 2017
oh you don’t have a boyfriend on valentine’s day? try not having a nap on national napping day
— caroline ❋ (@cbhumphrey) March 13, 2017
who needs a boyfriend when you have:
– the dolan twins
– a bed
— manc (@dolanzgirl) March 13, 2017
Sometimes, however, boyfriends can be worth the effort.
“He’s a rescue.” — a lot of people, if they were being honest about their boyfriends
— Tess Barker (@TesstifyBarker) May 7, 2016