21 Products For Girls Who Just Can’t Get Enough Dick In Their Lives

Someone women hate dicks, others merely tolerate them, but for the girls who absolutely love everything dick—the bulges, the balls, the whole package—we’ve got you covered. After all, it’s two-thousand seventeen for crying out loud! We should be able to be as unabashedly open about loving cock as dudes are about, well, everything. If the dick-loving stigma doesn’t disappear on its own this year, then dammit, we’re going to do everything we can to rub it out! (PUN VERY MUCH INTENDED!) These 21 products run the gamut from crude to tasteful, and they’ll all help you be as cocky as possible about liking cock.

1. This colorful bag of penis candy

Get them on Amazon for $6.80

2. Or this fetching candy dick bracelet

Get it on Amazon for $6.99

3. Or maybe this dick-shaped cookie cutter will satisfy your, uh, sweet tooth

Get it on Amazon for $7.95

4. If you’re cutting carbs, these bulbous penis jello molds will help

Get it on Amazon for $8.59

5. Or this giant silicone penis cake mold if you’re still unsatisfied after jello

Get it on Amazon for $9.99

6. Get the party started while satisfying your penis envy with these dueling inflatable cocks

Get them on Amazon for $20.59

7. This wooden penis keychain will always be hard for you

Get it on Etsy for $12.97

8. Or maybe this tasteful penis pendant is more your style

Get it on Etsy for $29.89

9. This penis lipstick will certainly raise eyebrows every time you freshen up

Get it on Amazon for $10.99

10. And this adorable mini penis toy proves size isn’t everything

Get it on Amazon for $3.99

11. This festive penis piñata is perfect for when you want to beat a dick with a little more enthusiasm than you usually put into it

Get it on Etsy for $55.00

12. This clever floral penis mug will help you keep your D fetish on the d low

Get it on Amazon for $15.99

13. And this dick mug is great for any girl who DGAF who knows they love the D

Get it on Amazon for $12.00

14. These novelty glasses will make at least make your next runny nose a little funnier

Get it on Amazon for $9.99

15. This custom 8-bit dick scarf will let you wrap yourself up in girthy comfort

Get it on Etsy for $117

16. Dick confetti makes any party invitation a little more adult

Get it on Amazon for $5.49

17. Keep your chapstick cozy in this crocheted penis holder

Get it on Etsy for $7.00

18. And these comfy penis slippers will keep your tootsies cozy too

Get them on Amazon for $19.00

19. This heartfelt card will let that certain special cock know just how you feel about him

Get it on Etsy for $5.42

20. This penis mold let’s crafty girls make their own soap while still feeling dirty

Get it on Amazon for $49.99

21. And this dick activity book will keep your hands busy with things when they’re not busy with, uh, other things…

Get it on Amazon for $11.00