It was only a few weeks ago that my flatmate called me “the most British person” that he’d ever met. I must admit, I was quite taken aback at the time. Bearing in mind that he lived in Britain himself, out of all of the people he had ever met, I was the most British? Was it something I did? Immediately I apologised, smiled tightly, and left the room, vowing to avoid him for the next few days…
It was only the next day at work that it struck me that he may have a point.
I’m not certain, but I’ve heard it through the grapevine that Americans don’t come across these unfortunate situations and simply don’t understand the problems we Brits encounter all the time. Personally, I think they’re clear as day, but for those who don’t, we welcome you for a vacation into the terrifying world of the British psyche, to witness the horror that we have to deal with on a daily basis.
1. We are genuinely unable to put voting slips into what is obviously the ballot box without asking one question
“Do I just pop this in here?”
2. Every day situations get needlessly apologetic
Socially awkward Brit no. 1: Sorry, are you in the queue?
Socially awkward Brit no. 2: Oh, no I’m not, sorry!
Socially awkward Brit no. 1: Oh, sorry!
*both Brits laugh uncontrollably with relief*
3. No one really gets when we’re mad for some reason
“I’m completely livid so I’m going to write ‘regards’ instead of ‘kind regards’ in this email. See how they like that.”
4. We waste a lot of our time thinking about things like this
I wonder if I nodded an appropriate number of times while that person spoke.
5. It’s easy to unnerve us – especially while discussing the weather
She’s insisting I don’t need a jacket and now I feel extremely uneasy.
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