Believe it or not, Father’s Day is less than a week away *cue panic*. It’s crazy how fast this holiday has crept up on us and we’re scrambling for the perfect way to thank these important men in our lives.
One thing that every dad can appreciate though, is a good laugh and that’s exactly what he’ll get from this hilarious thread of Father’s Day tweets.
My 4 yr old son gave me a hand made card for Father’s Day. Maybe for Christmas I’ll draw him a picture of some toys.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) June 20, 2010
Now that the kids are asleep I can enjoy Father’s Day.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) June 18, 2012
I don’t care what my family gets me for Father’s Day as long as they don’t waste $7 on a gift bag and tissue paper to put it in.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 17, 2016
My wife and kids are out buying me a father’s day gift. What they don’t realize is they already gave me the greatest gift of all: Silence.
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) June 20, 2015
Father’s Day Fun:
1) Walk up to a complete stranger at lunch with his family.
2) Hug him.
3) Tell him ‘Happy Father’s Day dad’!
— The Cultured Ruffian (@CulturedRuffian) June 17, 2016
Every Father’s Day at midnight the HomeDepot dads and the Lowe’s dads rumble “Westside Story” style in a neutral Costcos parking lot.
— Bmad (@1_swarthy_dude) August 25, 2014
Father’s Day is the day you get to find out which of your friends still call him “Daddy”
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) June 17, 2016
Every time a thermostat is adjusted a dad somewhere dies a little inside. Keep this in mind this Father’s Day.
— The St. Louisan (@thestlouisan) June 18, 2016
A thoughtful way to honor your dad on Father’s Day is to post a picture of him on a social media site that he doesn’t know how to use.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 21, 2015
For Father’s Day, I’m giving my dad a receipt proving I got my oil changed & a detailed description of the route we took to get to his house
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) June 18, 2015
Happy Father’s day to all the dads out there trying to keep the front door closed so u don’t AIR CONDITION THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD. COME ON
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) June 21, 2015
Father’s Day tip: forgot a gift? Drop him off at The Home Depot and let him play with all the other dads.
— luke [from online] (@internetluke) June 21, 2015
Get your dad what he really wants this Father’s Day by turning off the lights when you leave a room.
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) June 18, 2015
the apostrophe in “father’s day” indicates that this day is meant to celebrate one dad only. my guess is Gene, down the street
— chuuch (@ch000ch) June 21, 2015
Father’s Day plan:
3. Open cards & presents
— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) June 21, 2015
Happy Father’s Day to my dad who taught me that you don’t need feelings if you have sports.
— Greg Dorris (@GregDorris) June 21, 2015
Being a father is thankless except for one day a year when a child gives you a bad tie you paid for. Happy Father’s Day.
— Mike Birbiglia (@birbigs) June 16, 2013
Happy Father’s Day to all the men who don’t refer to taking care of their own kids as “babysitting.”
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 19, 2016