We all know who the REAL hero is in the Batman comics — Alfred. The dude is a bultering legend. Like, try to name five other famous butlers? Mr. Belvedere, Charles Carson, Geoffrey Butler, John Turturro’s character in Mr. Deeds, and, um, Jeeves from the website Ask Jeeves? Great! Good job. But now name 30 more famous butlers! You can’t do it, can you?And that’s because the only butler worth having is Gotham City’s own Alfred Pennyworth. Here are all the reasons that Alfred is a stone-cold badass in coattails:
He’s not afraid to get his hands dirty
He might be the only person not scared of Batman
The only reason the movie was Batman v. Superman was because its it was Alfred v. Superman it would’ve been about two minutes long
He knows how to handle unwanted house guests
He calls ’em like he sees ’em
His references are a lot like the wounds he tends to for Master Wayne — deep cuts
His quips are next-level
He knows what every hero needs to keep fighting
No seriously he is like the best damn butler ever
He know that sometimes, the most badass thing you can do… is care
It honestly feels like he’s just ITCHING to fight Superman. Like, for real, he straight-up doesn’t give a f*ck
He can ride a bicycle
He is constantly the smartest person in the room, even though the other person in the room is known as the World’s Greatest Detective, so you do the math on that one
The dude is a better superhero than most superheroes
And of course, the REAL reason Alfred is so badass
Do you know of other reasons why Alfred is sick as hell? Did you think of 30 other famous butlers? Hit me up on Twitter @Smosh either way, because we have A LOT to discuss.
Contributor:
James Shickich
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