For most people, seeing a summer movie is a fun, exciting, air-conditioned way to spend an afternoon. But for others it can trigger a whole host of phobias that have nothing to do with the price of 3D tickets or fear of seeing the words “Zack Snyder” in the credits. Here are the phobias this summer’s biggest blockbusters could give you!
Ekrixiphobia refers to the fear of explosions, like when alien invaders return twenty years later to destroy whatever landmarks they didn’t decimate the first time. Such an attack would also bring a huge spike in the fear of extraterrestrials (alienophobia), the fear of outer space (cosmophobia), and the fear of all the money Independence Day: Resurgence will make that will result in yet another sequel (chrometophobia).
Macrophobia is the fear of waiting for a long time. It could be activated by watching a dog wait for their person to come home in The Secret Life of Pets, or by waiting for the ads in the theater to finally end so you can start the twenty minutes of movie trailers.
Belonephobia is the fear of sharply pointed objects, like arrows. If you’re scared of Ant-Man riding on top of one of Hawkeye’s arrows in Captain America: Civil War, that would be achondroplasiaphobia (fear of little people). And if you crap your pants when Ant-Man becomes Giant-Man, that’s megalophobia (the fear of large objects) or gigaphobia (the fear of tall people).
Athazagoraphobia is the fear of forgetting, which Dory of Finding Dory doesn’t quite have (she can’t remember to be afraid of anything). But as for the other fish in the sea, there’s the fear of sharks (galeophobia), the fear of passing loud motorboat noises (phonophobia), and the fear of hot water should the sun bake the ocean (hygrothermophobia).
Canisinfernobia is the fear of hot dogs (draw your own sexual parallels). On the other hand, all the food characters in Sausage Party have their own overwhelming phobia — phagophobia, the fear of being eaten. In other words, this entire film is a Freudian nightmare.
Gourouniophobia is the fear of pigs, which drives Angry Birds protagonist Red to the point of acquiring another phobia — xenophobia, the corrosive fear of immigrants.
Rhabdophobia is the fear of magic, or, to be specific, the fear of magic wands. To be even more precise, Rhabdophobia refers to the fear of being hit with a wand (no word yet as to whether or not such a thing occurs in the unrated version of Now You See Me 2).
Ignoring the takeaway from the original Ghostbusters theme song — “I ain’t ‘fraid of no ghosts” — Phasmophobia is the fear of all things spirit and spectral. But given the huge negative outcry to the new Ghostbusters trailer by insecure geek boys who can’t let anything question their desperate power fantasies, the real crippling phobia here is gynophobia — the abnormal fear of women.
Chelonaphobia is the extreme fear of turtles, which would be an understandable fear to have if you came across these guys at a Papa John’s. The phobias you might end up with if you saw the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ elderly sensei Splinter in real life would be musophobia (fear of rats), gerontophobia (fear of old people), and pedagophobia (the fear of teachers).
Dementophobia is the fear of losing your mind. If you fear a giant bat swooping down to capture the crazy people, that would be chiroptophobia. And if you fear going to the movies at all this summer, that would be cinematophobia.