Group projects are supposed to teach you about teamwork, cooperation, and how horrible it is to have to work with another human being. That must be the point, right? That’s all I ever got out of them. Group projects above all teach you the beauty of self-reliance and to never trust anyone. Here are the eight worst people to do a group project with.
1) The ghost
They’re there on the first day of class just to join your group and then never come to class or any of your meetings. They email just often enough to convince you that they might do something, but no. Do they even exist? Did you imagine them? How have they not failed out of school yet? Will they show up on group presentation day? Nobody knows.
2) The faker
They seem dedicated. They promise to do the bibliography all on their own. Don’t worry about writing the conclusion, they’ve got it. But then, they just don’t. They don’t do sh*t. Were they lying? Did they overestimate themselves? What the f*ck would possess someone to pull this sh*t?
3) The chatterbox
We get it, you think you’re funny. But this is not time to LAUGH, this is time to DO SCHOOL. Laugh on your own time, peasants!
4) The lazy sack of sh*t
This one is self-explanatory.
5) The… umm… not very smart one
There’s no polite way to put this — this person is willing to put in the work, but they’re just not smart enough to do it well. You end up having to redo all of their work because it’s just bad. I guess it’s worse to be this person, but it’s no real treat for you, either.
6) The frat bro/sorority girl who thinks Greek life is more important than class
“I’m sorry I can’t write my part of the report, my frat has a toga party where we’re all gonna roll on the floor in jello. It’s for charity.” Bitch do you know why you’re in college? I am not going to do extra work because you live in a fancy house with a lot of other people. Good for you, I’m very impressed, now write your part of the report.
7) The dude who chews tobacco
Has this just happened to me? Freshman year of college I had to do a team project for weeks with a guy who chewed tobacco at our meetings and spit into a soda bottle. I’ve never hated someone so much in my life. Screw you, Brad.
8) The bossy one
If there isn’t a bossy one in the group, it’s you.
Do you hate group projects as much as I do? Who is your least favorite kind of person to work on a group project with? Let me know @erikaheidewald!