Why is it that weddings get elaborate cakes, but breakups don’t?
Shouldn’t the mature decision to separate, and live independent lives that are ultimately healthier and more beneficial for both parties involved, merit a beautiful baked good? Why do you only get a damn layer cake when you decide to tie yourself to someone for the rest of your life?
Here are some cakes which believe that the dissolution of a marriage is worth celebrating even more so than the marriage itself. Because when you’re experiencing heartache, you need chocolate, sugar and carbs by the truckload — and you deserve a special dessert as a testament to all you’ve been through.
So celebrate your single life and eat cake, for God’s sake.
1. This simplistic cake that pretty much sums up any feelings about those old vows.
2. This cake that is straight-up celebrating your newfound freedom.
3. This cake, which perfectly illustrates what a difference a breakup can make.
4. This cake, which features a pretty apt Drake lyric.
5. A magical cake that will put a hex on any dude unlucky enough to invoke your wrath.
6. A cake that isn’t going to mourn any longer than it needs to.
7. A classy cake that rejoices in you being free of your romantic shackles.
8. This glossy cake that isn’t going to be dour just because it’s not a wedding cake.
9. These cupcakes, for when you want to savor your independent badassery in small bites.
10. A foreboding and beautiful cake that indulges some of your more morbid urges.
11. These cupcakes that are making the best of a shitty situation.
12. This surprisingly sunny cake to remind you not to sweat the small stuff.
13. A grim cake that gives a middle finger to romance.
14. A delightfully whimsical celebration of separation (and fandom).
15. These cupcakes, to remind you that wounds heal (with the help of sugar).
16. This cake, which imagines what it would be like to bury your ex under a mountain of carbs.
17. A classy and minimalist cake to rejoice in your change of lifestyle.
18. A Beyoncé-approved delicacy for all the single ladies everywhere.